True Presence

 For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.  Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him.  As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me.  This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread the fathers ate, and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.” (John 6:55-59)

“Take note of those who have heterodox opinions on the grace of Jesus Christ which has come to us. See how contrary their opinions are to the mind of God. They abstain from the Eucharist and from prayer because they do not confess that the Eucharist is the flesh of our savior Jesus Christ. Flesh which suffered for our sins and which the Father in his goodness raised up again.” (Ignatius of Antioch (died year 107, a disciple of Polycarp who was a disciple of John the Beloved)

This past weekend the Catholic Church celebrated the Feast of Corpus Christi, the belief in the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. Jeff and I found ourselves at the church just a few miles from our house on Saturday evening. We have been playing popcorn churches. We pop all over the area, between 5 churches and 2 pastorates that are within 25 minutes of our house. We pop all over because I am seeking what I perceive I have lost: a strong community of fellowship, a consistent priest that will stay with a parish more than 2 years, dynamic faith formation, a strong music ministry. I am an unmoored Catholic at the moment seeking my parish harbor. Much mental stress and deliberation have been given to this “problem.” This past Saturday was one of those extraordinary Eucharistic experiences that started with my quiet pre-Mass prayer time and continued to the concluding song. I will try to give any of you that struggle with Mass, your parish, or the true presence a moment of grace that I feel God is asking me to share. Five years ago my friend Meg spoke prophetic words to me. She has no idea of this, this will be news to her as she reads this. We were having a “spirited” debate on what is spiritually necessary, what the heart of our faith journey is. We were “praystorming” how to get parishioners more spiritually engaged. I was lamenting our pastor’s (of that time) seeming lack of investment in the parish outside of the Mass. Meg agreed and disagreed, “Yeah, but he’s not wrong, Fr. Greg (different priest entirely) says, ‘The Eucharist is the source and the summit. It is all we need.’” My argument was that 70 percent of Catholics do not believe in the true presence and that if coming to Mass week after week was not bringing them to belief then “program” offering outside of Mass could help walk with them to encounter Jesus more fully and help bring them to the beauty of the Mass. We were both right, but, there was one way that I was wrong: I thought that spiritually, in terms of Mass and Eucharist, I had reached the Source and Summit: foolish pride. It turns out I had only begun the climb. Last night as I gazed in prayer on the altar and tabernacle Jesus downloaded a powerful truth that overwhelmed me in it’s beauty and simplicity. At a deep level I knew that this (Eucharist) is what matters. Eucharist is ultimately what I need from a parish. It doesn’t matter who the priest is. It doesn’t matter if the homily inspires. It doesn’t matter if the music is a hot mess. It doesn’t matter if the bulletin is devoid of program offerings or fellowship opportunities. It doesn’t matter if I know anyone else there. What matters is Jesus is present: body, blood, soul, and divinity. I am going to receive Him in the exact same way the disciples did 2000 years ago. In a moment, I saw that all the reasons that held me back from committing to a parish were, to quote Ecclesiastes, vanity of vanities. Only one thing matters. Jesus is present in every tabernacle and at every Mass. In case I wondered if I just thought all this up on my own, Fr. Eric affirmed my pre-Mass prayer time in his homily. He told us there are millions of Catholics receiving Eucharist on this day, yet we each receive the one Jesus. There are thousands of priests celebrating Mass on this day, but the one High Priest, Jesus, who is present to change the bread and wine. This is a mystical reality of the Mass and if we don’t believe then we are just partaking in a cultural habit that holds no grace. Jesus’ words from last week echo again, “I have more to tell you.” At this Mass he most certainly did. On the feast of Corpus Christi, the veil was lifted and the truth of Meg’s words from five years ago return and bear fruit. The Eucharist is the Source and Summit, without it, it’s just production and pagentry and one more thing trying to grab for my attention. I haven’t reached the summit yet, I never will, but I am at least a little further along the journey and reaching new heights. One last thing, an addendum. Two years ago after an illness I lost my ability to sing anything above an alto for a full song. I have never had one of those amazing voices, but I have always loved singing in church. I have given this struggle over to our Lord multiple times. It’s a small thorn, I know, but still a thorn. This past weekend during Mass my singing voice returned and I joined in for all the songs without fatigue or cracking. For a girl who hears God in song this was a beautiful gift, some might say a miracle, a Eucharistic miracle. Even if it is a fleeting gift, I hold it close to my heart the gift to pray twice with singing. This week I include a video of Fr. Mike Schmitz homily on Corpus Christi. It is a worthy listen. I will close with the simple line that was repeated often last year at the Eucharistic Congress, “I will see you in the Eucharist.” Amen.