Catching up…
I was talking with my dear friend Meg this past week and she asked where my heart was in terms of this blog. She pointed out that I had not been posting regularly. One of the things I love about Meg is that she asks the questions, you know, the ones you don’t want to ask yourself. The other thing I love about talking with Meg is that the Holy Spirit is often present and…
When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own, but will speak whatever he hears, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. (John 16:13)
So as I started to speak from the heart, the keeper of my heart, the Holy Spirit, revealed it to me. In May, I began sharing reflections of walking with Jesus through grief, the grief of imminent loss of my dad. When I was told (several times in the past 6 months) that my dad only has weeks to live, I foresaw the trajectory of this blog following me as I walked with Jesus through Dad’s dying and the grief to follow. This placed me in a certain limbo as…
“But about that day and hour no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. (Matthew 24:36)
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” (Isaiah 55:8-9)
Last week as I sat with Mom and Dad, Dad declared, “I’m going to start living like I’m going to be around for at least 2 more years.” And with those words came great wisdom and great freedom. Often times when we live as if we or someone we love is dying, we in fact stop living in a certain respect. We stop stepping forward, we hesitate to start/begin/plan, we stop flourishing. I stopped writing on the blog because I felt like I hadn’t finished the trajectory of the story of Dad. Meanwhile, God was bringing me much insight and wisdom that I was just placing on pause. I didn’t know how to continue my story. Talking to Meg helped me to work out what was holding me back which has given me the freedom to move forward. My dad is living proof that there is only One who knows the hour or the day. God holds our last breath within His will, not ours, or medical professionals. To wait for death is to stop living. This is a win for the enemy. Jesus defeated death for us. Living fully in each day demonstrates the proper gratitude that sacrifice deserves. So stay tuned. I have some catching up to do.
