Martha, Martha

“The word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: Set out…” (Jonah 3:1)

The opening line of today’s first reading speaks volumes to the mercy of God while infusing me with the much needed enthusiasm to put hands to keyboard and wade back into this blog after another long absence. The enemy would like us to believe that God is a one shot God, as in, we only have one shot to get it right. Not true. Our God is the God of Jonah, the God who allows us to run away and have our “time out” then calls us again (and again and again if necessary). And so today, I begin again. Last night was a night of many things and one of those things was not good sleep. In the past months I have found myself driven from bed to the couch in an effort to “settle in” and find a physical and mental space where I can perchance sleep. The squirrels in my mind are busy. My alarm blaring at 6am calling me to prayer was an internal war of duty and desire. Jeff and I were planning to attend 8:00 Mass and Adoration so if I wanted to pre-pray now was the time. On the other hand, I just wanted to curl back into the sleep that had eluded me most of the night. As I opened the daily readings it was no surprise that this Gospel greeted me,

Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her. (Luke 10:41-42)

The picture above is a towel that hangs in my kitchen and accurately describes my state of affairs, or how the enemy would like me to view my state of affairs. The enemy loves to distract us with questions that give rise to anxiety and worry: how, why, when, what if? We are taught at a young age that questions are good, “There are no stupid questions!” Martha’s question that was running her to distraction is often our own core question, “Lord, do you not care?” The Lord takes me to the home of Martha and Mary this morning and places me in the scene. Jesus sees Martha as she hurries about. He sees Mary listening to His every word blissfully unaware (or perhaps intentionally ignoring) her sister’s plight. Either way, Jesus sees both sisters and He knows both hearts. I imagine as He is teaching that He is working into His teaching some sort of parable that will simultaneously pierce both sisters hearts: Mary’s to her sister’s unmet needs and Martha’s to the most important element of hospitality, being truly present to your guest. Here’s the thing. Martha was a close friend of Jesus. She knows Jesus. She knows He cares. Martha doesn’t give Jesus the chance to step in on His time, the squirrels of thought running through her mind win out and she takes matters into her own hands. This story of Martha is my Jonah moment. It is my story of second, third, fourt, etc chances to trust that Jesus sees me, knows me, loves me, and invites me to be Mary, to be still and let Him work in His time, not my time. This morning after I wrote this reflection, Jesus invited me to write down my list of worries, to put pen to paper and own what it is that I am worried about. I did do this and I invite you to try the same thing. I was really honest and put down both the major worries and the worries that I know are silly, but still cause worry. When I was done what was on the list was far less important than what was absent. The Lord was able to show me all of the things that have been on that list regularly for the past six months that are no longer an active worry. Jesus is working! I finished with the following two prayers that I invite you to as well.

Lord Jesus, these are my worries as well as I can recall. These are my unanswered questions. I give them to You trusting that You will work them to my greatest good. I understand that will not mean that I will always get my way, but I submit to Your way that draws me closer to you and to holiness. Amen.

And then in adoration recognizing that the core of much anxiety is the issue of control I was inspired to make my own serenity prayer…

God grant me the grace to take faithful action in the things You have given to my stewardship, the strength to release to You those things that I cannot control, and the wisdom and peace to discern and know the difference. Amen.